


Love Transcends Reality

by blackrider11



Series: Transcending Reality [1]
Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Feels, Other, Sad LaPanda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-01
Updated: 2014-10-04
Packaged: 2018-02-19 11:44:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2387114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackrider11/pseuds/blackrider11
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summary: Perry had a reason she didn’t believe in the strange and unusual despite all the facts that practically screamed SUPERNATURAL at Silas.</p><p>Drabble. Alternative title, now I STAB you in the FEELS!</p><p>(Author's writing rating: 3.5/5)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I don’t mean it I don’t mean it, please don’t hurt me!!!
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing like usual.

It is far past your bedtime, Susan had you running around all day, muttering something about the impossibilities of the blood from the usual rain of blood that you get every few weeks or so. When you pointed out that you both had class tomorrow, she waved you off and ran toward the science building with her collected samples. You had sighed in dismay but had chosen to do the practical thing, to return to your shared room and go to sleep.

Unfortunately, sleep is not forthcoming. You let your mind drift, trying to get sleep to come to you but the events of the past week keep invading your thoughts.

Monsters, vampires, werewolves. Really? You stopped believing in monsters when you met Susan for the first time. She believed too much and even now she insists on bunking your beds because “there is more of a chance to observe one in its natural habitat.” You’re absolutely positive that it has more to do with the fact she likes to make a blanket fort on the bottom bunk.

As for vampires, they don’t exist at all. Most are all just misunderstood, allergic to sunlight humans. The legends are stories that people twisted to suit their needs and decided, vampire would be the right way to go.

These thoughts come and go, yet still no sleep comes. Then the _thought_ that you dread comes to pass.

 

_What if all these things are real?_

NO. NO. You can never admit, you will never admit, that these things are _real_ , that Silas is _more_ than _just a university_. Because the moment you admit that, the moment you even think that it’s a _possibility_ is the moment you have to admit Susan LaFontaine isn’t real. That she’s just a made up childhood friend, one that you had created to cope with your real life. That the person you’ve relied on to look after you and for you to care for, the person who _is your person._ To have to acknowledge that somehow you magically created her from an imaginary friend to a breathing human being. To do that, would break you in more ways than one because you can’t imagine living without her. And it would mean that no matter how much you love her, no matter how much you care, no matter how much you wish it.

 

_She would never really love you back._


	2. Even Though It Hurts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first time you told her the words "I love you." She broke down into tears.

The first time you told her the words “I love you” you're in the living room of her house. She broke down into tears. Usually you’re self-assured, confident in what you’re doing but at that time you were at a loss. A sea captain with no ship. Perry crying isn’t normal but it’s not unheard of and yet, this time was different. It felt like each of her sobs reached down inside and crushed your heart. You were taller than her then, so at the time you did what you usually did, you took her into your arms and held her, instead of it helping, it just made things worse. She pushed you away and ran to her room locking it behind her.

You had told her you weren’t going away until she gave you an explanation.

She muttered something, but you heard it as though she was standing just air molecules away instead of the solid Alder door.

 

 

 _You aren’t real_.

And suddenly, many things slid into place. Why you’re so interested in biology. How easily you’re able to retain information you don’t even remember learning. How you seemed almost invisible to everyone but Perry. And here’s the thing, _you don’t care_.

So you moved, faster than you have before or since, down the stairs, out the door, and up a tree. You could see Perry her back against her room door blocking your first way in. The jump from the tree to her window looks to be about six feet and if you miss there’s a dead drop to the ground. All of this is just a passing thought because it doesn't really matter. What matters is Perry is crying and you have to do something about it. That's about all the thought process you have before you realize that the window is closed and you're already mid jump. And for a moment it looks like you won’t make it but it’s in the moment Perry’s eyes meet yours.

She gasps and you somehow make it through… the _closed window_. But you have no time to examine this strange event, it never happens again, because you just want to get to Perry. You take her into your arms and hold her tight.

“Susan, let go of me.” She’s already trying to make a run for it. You pull her tighter.

“No.” She struggles, but you’re not letting her get away. Maybe it’s hours, or a few minutes but eventually she stops. Perry’s exhausted herself and you hold on until she’s asleep. Laying her in bed, you tuck her in. She seems like she’ll sleep for a few hours. Before you leave, you tell her. “You and me, we’re covalent bonds.” In hindsight that sounds a lot creepier than what you mean. You don’t really want to leave her but you need some time to process. You’ll make it short, thirty minutes.

You wander away, fresh air is what you need so you don’t pick a direction. Somehow you stumble onto some kind of campus. You don’t remember it being here, so you go forward and are greeted by some sort of midget asking your help for directions to the Virtually Unrealizable Motorist Society. What really gets you is that during your walk, until that moment, no one noticed you at all. What is this place? Your phone goes off and you have to head back. You glace up at the sign on your way out.

It reads Silas University.

When you make it back to Perry’s house, she’s asleep and soon you are too. When you wake, Perry still hasn’t moved but there’s a letter in your hand and another on her nightstand. You turn yours over and it has a strange marking on the back. You open it and it’s a welcoming admission letter for the same school you were just at.

Curious, maybe it holds the answers to making yourself real, and proving to Perry that you are.

You haven’t told her that you’ve loved her since that incident. Not because you don’t, but because she wouldn’t believe you. And no matter how much it pains you at times not to say the words, it’s better than watching her be hurt that badly again.

You’ll experiment and you’ll find the answers. Many of them will be wrong but all you need is time and you just have to find the right solution. You won't give up. You won't give in, until you can tell her. And when you can, finally, you hope that she'll _believe_ you.

**Author's Note:**

> Apologies for inaccurate voices.


End file.
